Dreams
I love the process of growing; grooming mounds of earth, blending in a loosely approximated amount of compost until the soil becomes light and fluffy, choosing tiny seeds and nestling them into dirt. There is something so humbling, comforting and miraculous when the first sprouts come up. When given the right environment, a little water and some sun, growth happens. And tiny sprouts shoot out fresh leaves, and their stalks grow, evidence of rapid change calculated by my maternal eyes.
Troubles are worked out in the garden, checking under each leaf for hungry bugs, pulling thready weeds, and digging my hands into the soil. I become grounded again when I touch earth. In such a short time tiny seeds become full grown plants, one plant yielding an abundance of flowers and fruit, in return for such basic care.
People grow too, our bodies change, skin looses its elasticity with age, or perhaps too many hardships or too much laughter. We show our wear. I hope to do so with dignity, and I also hope that my growth produces sweet fruit.
I am spending the month at my Mom’s house, in a sort of wholesome purgatory until my house is ready in St. Pete. I’m surrounded by my family, and the bustling drama that comes along with companionship. For a moment, I felt my life had stalled. When not throwing myself into sorting, and reducing my load for my next chapter, I sat in limbo. Plans for new art projects, plans for expanding my business, all feel hollow and stagnant as I wait in a place where I had been, but will not stay. Transplanted with my roots exposed, I’m ashamed to admit I spent today wallowing, and filled with a nervous tension.
That is until I explored this blog. Blake had posted a link to it a few days ago, and I bookmarked it. Today it reminded me that every day should be approached with passion. The hard days need it more than others. I also realized how much I’ve put my dream of having a restaurant on the back burner. Probably because I don’t know the first thing about owning or running one. But I do know it’s the one consistent dream I’ve had since I was a little girl, and I know that a passion for food fulfills me, in a way that the other creative outlets simply sustain.
This new step, moving into a charming house with one of my closest friends, in a neighborhood I’ve come to love, in a city I’ve always loved, has the opportunity to be a catalyst if I allow it.
Degree in tow, I can continue to build my business, but hope to push it in new directions. I’ll be exploring the city with my camera AND my palette, greeting my new home with free samples of food photography. Also at the top of that list is getting in the routine of documenting at least one new recipe a week, for a long awaited cook book. It’s time to push myself in the areas I am most passionate about: food, acts of service, art and gardening.
Declaring these new goals in a public contract is my way of inviting you to come and eat with me, hold me accountable, and share your own dreams.
